Movie Reviews
Before you can decide whether or not my movie reviews will have any value for you, you should find out first which movies I love or admire, which ones I'd buy to keep in a personal library, and which ones I'd watch over and over again.
That list of movies can be found in the favorites page under biography, or by clicking here.
Relevant links can be found in the egress.
Very Brief Synopsis: An image consultant gets in touch with the 8-year-old version of himself and does some self-parenting before he can achieve his dreams.
Comments: If it weren't for the subject of the movie, The Kid probably wouldn't have meant anything to me, and I probably would have thought it was boring and stupid. But because it means something to me on a personal level, I feel compelled to grade it well. It's a John Bradshaw book made into a movie, and it's actually kind of cute, too.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: Rocky and Bullwinkle step out from the animated world to stop their old enemies Boris, Natasha, and the Fearless Leader from ruling the real world.
Comments: Bad film. Horribly bad film. It was meant to be funny, but I didn't even smile during the entire time. I kept hoping it would redeem itself after the first few scenes, but it never did. Do NOT go.
Grade: F
Very Brief Synopsis: Set during the time of the American Revolutionary War, Mel Gibson's character -- father and reluctant soldier -- leads a militia group and fights the British.
Comments: It makes the British look like Nazis (so Hollywood), but it's still a great film. Great computer-generated special effects! A 16-handkerchief film.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: Based on the true story -- the crew of the Andrea Gail meet up with the big storm of 1991.
Comments: Lots of water -- I actually had to get up during the most exciting part of the movie to pee. What wasn't guessed at is all true, and it's very sad. The special effects were awesome.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: A determined hen named Ginger (a dead ringer for Steve McQueen if he had been an egg-laying chicken) enlists the help of Rocky the circus rooster (Mel Gibson's voice) in her attempts to free all the chickens at the chicken farm.
Comments: This is a GREAT movie -- a must see! It's cute. It's funny. It's multi-layered so that both kids and adults can enjoy it (think Rocky and Bullwinkle, the old shows). The lines are great, many of them borrowed from other movies so that it adds a lot of rich humor. It's also a Nick Park movie, and he's the guy behind Wallace and Gromit, which I absolutely love. Go see! Go see!
Grade: A+
Very Brief Synopsis: A retired car thief is forced to work again when his younger brother finds himself in trouble with a murderous crook.
Comments: By the numbers, by the book -- it would have been just as good with no-name actors. As it was, Robert Duvall and Angelina Jolie were kind of wasted in the movie.
Grade: B+
Very Brief Synopsis: Chon Wang must head West and save Princess Pei Pei.
Comments: CUTE! FUNNY! I loved it. Jackie Chan rules. I even like the out-takes. The only things that bothered me were a couple of details toward the end of the movie. But they're forgiveable.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: Woody Allen film (that's all you need to know).
Comments: Very, very cute. Funny. Now I know why people work for him practically for free.
Grade: A-
Very Brief Synopsis: The Mission... retrieve the stolen monster virus called Chimera.
Comments: For what it is -- a Sunday afternoon popcorn movie -- it's not bad... BUT, the stunts defy regular physics and the plot is totally predictable. It's very John Woo, what with all the slow motion and wind blowing, but those Matrix-like gymnastics simply don't fly well with me. That sort of thing in The Matrix was justified because of the story, but in M:I-2, it just seemed a little ridiculous (too much catering to the macho psyche, if you ask me). The girl was great, though.
Grade: B
Very Brief Synopsis: Dinosaur raised by monkeys after an earth shattering meteor shower joins a group of other surviving dinosaurs.
Comments: Very detailed hair in those monkeys -- nice effects. There's absolutely no personality in the story, though.
Grade: D
Very Brief Synopsis: A Roman general -- turned slave, turned gladiator -- seeks vengeance when the rightful caesar's ambitious son takes power and orders the death of the general's wife and son.
Comments: WOW. The Insider's dumpy looking Russell Crowe looks extremely fit and attractive in this sprawling and awe-inspiring sword and sandal movie. How he does it I'll never know, but I'm sure he'll soon be up there with Mel Gibson and Harrison Ford in the "smart hunk" department. I would never have predicted the story line, and the special effects are an absolute marvel. If this movie doesn't make a lot of money, I'll be very surprised. A must see.
Grade: A+
Very Brief Synopsis: An American submarine crew gets trapped in a German u-boat while snatching the Enigma.
Comments: I expected to be disappointed. I wasn't. Not exactly historically or technically accurate, but pretty darn good anyway.
Grade: A-
Very Brief Synopsis: Marine colonel in charge of a special ops evacuation gets tried for the death of 83 people.
Comments: It's A Few Good Men wannabe, except that it's not nearly as good. I liked the movie, but there are a few things wrong with it. For instance, the videotape in the movie would never have been lost in real life; they would never have given the national security advisor the original copy in the first place. Anyway, the prosecuting military lawyer is kind of cute, but he looks like he doesn't know how to smile.
Grade: A-/B+
Very Brief Synopsis: A priest and a rabbi fall in love with the same girl... no joke.
Comments: I like Jenna Elfman. I like Ed Norton. I like Ben Stiller. I got off the wrong side of the bed that morning, so the movie didn't seem to satisfy me as much as I anticipated... probably because I kept hoping it would end another way. My boyfriend loved it, though; he thought it was absolutely perfect.
Grade: B+/A-
Very Brief Synopsis: Heart donor recipient and the donor's widower meet by chance and fall in love.
Comments: Chick flick. I'm a chick. I loved it. Romantic comedy where the side characters have the coolest lines. Not much conflict but a cute movie all the same. Eight handkerchiefs.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: Record store owner rehashes his past relationships with women as he tries to win back his last girlfriend.
Comments: Very cute. I was a little uncertain at first about whether or not I'd like it when I realized what sort of device they'd be using to narrate the movie (they have John Cusack's character talking directly to the audience--or his subconcious?). But it's so well done and so quirky, it's hard not to like it. I also really like Cusack, and the story was pretty well-formed, too; the main character had a really clear arc. Side note: it's a movie for music aficionados, and the credits before the credits are very cool.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: Based on a true story. Single mother discovers she has a talent for investigation when she helps a Los Angeles lawyer build a case against a major corporation.
Comments: I've read a few articles about the real Erin Brockavich, and apparently the movie stays close to the truth... which is a good thing; Erin's a pretty admirable character. The story also seems made for a movie, and I can only find nice things to say about it. Poignant scene: Julia Roberts crying in the car, on the cellphone and hearing about her daughter's first word.
Grade: A+
Very Brief Synopsis: Astronauts discover something mysteriously alien on Mars.
Comments: Cheesy, with a capital C. Try also Cliché. The special effects were spectacular, but the story and dialogue were so trite, so completely unoriginal. I don't know... maybe I just read too much sci-fi to be impressed. One of my friends loved it, so maybe you will, too. But my bottom line is: this movie tries too hard.
Grade: C
Very Brief Synopsis: A writer who can't stop writing is forced to come out of his daze and make some choices after he spends a memorable weekend with a couple of his students and his editor.
Comments: Although the events in the movie are strange, there was really nothing unpredictable here. The main character arc went pretty much in the way I had imagined, and the meaningful lines about what the writer was really going through came from the same two people I had counted on delivering them ("It seemed to me like you didn't make any choices..." and "His heart which so inspired others couldn't even inspire himself"). It was a good movie, though; Tobey Maguire was great, as usual, and the quirky scenes added a nice touch. In fact, they needed more "quirk"; the movie took itself too seriously. Its predictability was the main thing that ruined it for me. That, and I can't seem to get it up any more for stories about writers--too affected.
Grade: B
Very Brief Synopsis: The survivors of a planetary shipwreck discover that if they don't find a way to leave the arid and strangely uninhabited world before its three-sun eclipse, they're in for some serious trouble with some creatures of night.
Comments: Great popcorn movie! For a film with a relatively small budget, this is surprisingly good. Science fiction with a dependable plot (i.e. - standard formula, but always works), Australian actors that don't sound so obviously Australian, and some really well done (but not too expensive) special effects; what more could you want? I was shocked, though; they killed off a character that I thought would prevail in the end. Best if you go to the movie without background information, like I did.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: A hitman moves next door to a dentist whose wife wants him killed, and a plot involving mafia types and $10 million ensues.
Comments: The movie is very cute and funny, and Matthew Perry is just great at physical comedy. Only one aspect seemed to bother me, and that was the credibility of the dentist falling in love so quickly with the hitman's wife.
Grade: B+
Very Brief Synopsis: This is a story revolving around the love between a man and a married woman, whose broken promises to God end their affair.
Comments: The first half of the movie is boring; I didn't have much hope for the rest of it. However, it did pick up in the second half when I finally got a glimpse of the whole affair through the woman's eyes. That's when the movie redeemed itself in my eyes and got interesting.
Grade: B
Very Brief Synopsis: Based on the novel. A young man raised in an orphanage as an obstetrician goes out into the world and revises his allegorical cider house rules.
Comments: This is an allegory that addresses the topic of abortion, and I loved it. It's subtle, and Toby Maguire beautifully underplays his character so that you can imagine all the thoughts and emotions that go through the character's mind. If you're completely dense, or if you have very strong opinions against abortion, you might not understand the movie or like it. It thought it was very well done. It's even more remarkable that the person who wrote the book also got to do the screenplay.
Grade: A+
Very Brief Synopsis: Based on a true story. Orson Welles and John Houseman put on a play that comments on the social and political environment of the time, while conservatives do what they can to cut the funding of the theatre and shut down the play.
Comments: There's so much going on in this film, a one-line synopsis could never do it justice. Tim Robbins directed this film, and like Shakespeare in Love there are fictional characters mixed in with actual people, so it helps to know the history involved. My suggestion? Know the background of the story, or bring a historian to the movie with you as your date, like I did. You'll understand the message better AND enjoy the movie. Oh, and if you're super-conservative and intolerant, and you think McCarthy of the House of Un-American Activities was a god, don't go to the movie. You'll hate it.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: Based on a true story. Susanna Kayson commits herself to Claymore and, with the help of her friends, has to heal herself psychologically in order to get out.
Comments: I'm guessing that the trailers will appeal to teenaged girls, and guys will think that this is mainly a chick flick, but this is actually a serious drama. I like both Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie, so maybe I'm prejudiced... but I liked the film.
Grade: A
Very Brief Synopsis: This is the story of Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, prize fighter wrongfully convicted of murder.
Comments: I loved it. Denzel Washington was great, as usual, and I love Canadians. Go see it.
Grade: A+
Very Brief Synopsis: Mouse gets adopted by the Little family and encounters a few problems.
Comments: I came for the animation, and apparently, that's all there was; it didn't even match what E. B. White originally wrote. The story was lacking; the characters were bland; and there was no real conflict. I think the kids in the theater liked it, but what do they know?
Grade: C
« back to the reviews
That list of movies can be found in the favorites page under biography, or by clicking here.
Relevant links can be found in the egress.
The Kid
Seen: July 8, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: An image consultant gets in touch with the 8-year-old version of himself and does some self-parenting before he can achieve his dreams.
Comments: If it weren't for the subject of the movie, The Kid probably wouldn't have meant anything to me, and I probably would have thought it was boring and stupid. But because it means something to me on a personal level, I feel compelled to grade it well. It's a John Bradshaw book made into a movie, and it's actually kind of cute, too.
Grade: A
The Mis-Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
Seen: July 4, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Rocky and Bullwinkle step out from the animated world to stop their old enemies Boris, Natasha, and the Fearless Leader from ruling the real world.
Comments: Bad film. Horribly bad film. It was meant to be funny, but I didn't even smile during the entire time. I kept hoping it would redeem itself after the first few scenes, but it never did. Do NOT go.
Grade: F
The Patriot
Seen: July 2, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Set during the time of the American Revolutionary War, Mel Gibson's character -- father and reluctant soldier -- leads a militia group and fights the British.
Comments: It makes the British look like Nazis (so Hollywood), but it's still a great film. Great computer-generated special effects! A 16-handkerchief film.
Grade: A
The Perfect Storm
Seen: June 30, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Based on the true story -- the crew of the Andrea Gail meet up with the big storm of 1991.
Comments: Lots of water -- I actually had to get up during the most exciting part of the movie to pee. What wasn't guessed at is all true, and it's very sad. The special effects were awesome.
Grade: A
Chicken Run
Seen: June 17, Matinee (Sneak Preview)Very Brief Synopsis: A determined hen named Ginger (a dead ringer for Steve McQueen if he had been an egg-laying chicken) enlists the help of Rocky the circus rooster (Mel Gibson's voice) in her attempts to free all the chickens at the chicken farm.
Comments: This is a GREAT movie -- a must see! It's cute. It's funny. It's multi-layered so that both kids and adults can enjoy it (think Rocky and Bullwinkle, the old shows). The lines are great, many of them borrowed from other movies so that it adds a lot of rich humor. It's also a Nick Park movie, and he's the guy behind Wallace and Gromit, which I absolutely love. Go see! Go see!
Grade: A+
Gone in 60 Seconds
Seen: June 10, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: A retired car thief is forced to work again when his younger brother finds himself in trouble with a murderous crook.
Comments: By the numbers, by the book -- it would have been just as good with no-name actors. As it was, Robert Duvall and Angelina Jolie were kind of wasted in the movie.
Grade: B+
Shanghai Noon
Seen: June 4, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Chon Wang must head West and save Princess Pei Pei.
Comments: CUTE! FUNNY! I loved it. Jackie Chan rules. I even like the out-takes. The only things that bothered me were a couple of details toward the end of the movie. But they're forgiveable.
Grade: A
Small Time Crooks
Seen: June 3, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Woody Allen film (that's all you need to know).
Comments: Very, very cute. Funny. Now I know why people work for him practically for free.
Grade: A-
Mission: Impossible 2
Seen: May 28, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: The Mission... retrieve the stolen monster virus called Chimera.
Comments: For what it is -- a Sunday afternoon popcorn movie -- it's not bad... BUT, the stunts defy regular physics and the plot is totally predictable. It's very John Woo, what with all the slow motion and wind blowing, but those Matrix-like gymnastics simply don't fly well with me. That sort of thing in The Matrix was justified because of the story, but in M:I-2, it just seemed a little ridiculous (too much catering to the macho psyche, if you ask me). The girl was great, though.
Grade: B
Dinosaur
Seen: May 20, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Dinosaur raised by monkeys after an earth shattering meteor shower joins a group of other surviving dinosaurs.
Comments: Very detailed hair in those monkeys -- nice effects. There's absolutely no personality in the story, though.
Grade: D
Gladiator
Seen: May 06, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: A Roman general -- turned slave, turned gladiator -- seeks vengeance when the rightful caesar's ambitious son takes power and orders the death of the general's wife and son.
Comments: WOW. The Insider's dumpy looking Russell Crowe looks extremely fit and attractive in this sprawling and awe-inspiring sword and sandal movie. How he does it I'll never know, but I'm sure he'll soon be up there with Mel Gibson and Harrison Ford in the "smart hunk" department. I would never have predicted the story line, and the special effects are an absolute marvel. If this movie doesn't make a lot of money, I'll be very surprised. A must see.
Grade: A+
U-571
Seen: April 29, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: An American submarine crew gets trapped in a German u-boat while snatching the Enigma.
Comments: I expected to be disappointed. I wasn't. Not exactly historically or technically accurate, but pretty darn good anyway.
Grade: A-
Rules of Engagement
Seen: April 16, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Marine colonel in charge of a special ops evacuation gets tried for the death of 83 people.
Comments: It's A Few Good Men wannabe, except that it's not nearly as good. I liked the movie, but there are a few things wrong with it. For instance, the videotape in the movie would never have been lost in real life; they would never have given the national security advisor the original copy in the first place. Anyway, the prosecuting military lawyer is kind of cute, but he looks like he doesn't know how to smile.
Grade: A-/B+
Keeping The Faith
Seen: April 15, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: A priest and a rabbi fall in love with the same girl... no joke.
Comments: I like Jenna Elfman. I like Ed Norton. I like Ben Stiller. I got off the wrong side of the bed that morning, so the movie didn't seem to satisfy me as much as I anticipated... probably because I kept hoping it would end another way. My boyfriend loved it, though; he thought it was absolutely perfect.
Grade: B+/A-
Return To Me
Seen: April 8, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Heart donor recipient and the donor's widower meet by chance and fall in love.
Comments: Chick flick. I'm a chick. I loved it. Romantic comedy where the side characters have the coolest lines. Not much conflict but a cute movie all the same. Eight handkerchiefs.
Grade: A
High Fidelity
Seen: April 1, TwilightVery Brief Synopsis: Record store owner rehashes his past relationships with women as he tries to win back his last girlfriend.
Comments: Very cute. I was a little uncertain at first about whether or not I'd like it when I realized what sort of device they'd be using to narrate the movie (they have John Cusack's character talking directly to the audience--or his subconcious?). But it's so well done and so quirky, it's hard not to like it. I also really like Cusack, and the story was pretty well-formed, too; the main character had a really clear arc. Side note: it's a movie for music aficionados, and the credits before the credits are very cool.
Grade: A
Erin Brockavich
Seen: March 25, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Based on a true story. Single mother discovers she has a talent for investigation when she helps a Los Angeles lawyer build a case against a major corporation.
Comments: I've read a few articles about the real Erin Brockavich, and apparently the movie stays close to the truth... which is a good thing; Erin's a pretty admirable character. The story also seems made for a movie, and I can only find nice things to say about it. Poignant scene: Julia Roberts crying in the car, on the cellphone and hearing about her daughter's first word.
Grade: A+
Mission to Mars
Seen: March 15, TwilightVery Brief Synopsis: Astronauts discover something mysteriously alien on Mars.
Comments: Cheesy, with a capital C. Try also Cliché. The special effects were spectacular, but the story and dialogue were so trite, so completely unoriginal. I don't know... maybe I just read too much sci-fi to be impressed. One of my friends loved it, so maybe you will, too. But my bottom line is: this movie tries too hard.
Grade: C
Wonder Boys
Seen: March 4, TwilightVery Brief Synopsis: A writer who can't stop writing is forced to come out of his daze and make some choices after he spends a memorable weekend with a couple of his students and his editor.
Comments: Although the events in the movie are strange, there was really nothing unpredictable here. The main character arc went pretty much in the way I had imagined, and the meaningful lines about what the writer was really going through came from the same two people I had counted on delivering them ("It seemed to me like you didn't make any choices..." and "His heart which so inspired others couldn't even inspire himself"). It was a good movie, though; Tobey Maguire was great, as usual, and the quirky scenes added a nice touch. In fact, they needed more "quirk"; the movie took itself too seriously. Its predictability was the main thing that ruined it for me. That, and I can't seem to get it up any more for stories about writers--too affected.
Grade: B
Pitch Black
Seen: February 21, TwilightVery Brief Synopsis: The survivors of a planetary shipwreck discover that if they don't find a way to leave the arid and strangely uninhabited world before its three-sun eclipse, they're in for some serious trouble with some creatures of night.
Comments: Great popcorn movie! For a film with a relatively small budget, this is surprisingly good. Science fiction with a dependable plot (i.e. - standard formula, but always works), Australian actors that don't sound so obviously Australian, and some really well done (but not too expensive) special effects; what more could you want? I was shocked, though; they killed off a character that I thought would prevail in the end. Best if you go to the movie without background information, like I did.
Grade: A
The Whole Nine Yards
Seen: February 19, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: A hitman moves next door to a dentist whose wife wants him killed, and a plot involving mafia types and $10 million ensues.
Comments: The movie is very cute and funny, and Matthew Perry is just great at physical comedy. Only one aspect seemed to bother me, and that was the credibility of the dentist falling in love so quickly with the hitman's wife.
Grade: B+
The End of the Affair
Seen: February 12, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: This is a story revolving around the love between a man and a married woman, whose broken promises to God end their affair.
Comments: The first half of the movie is boring; I didn't have much hope for the rest of it. However, it did pick up in the second half when I finally got a glimpse of the whole affair through the woman's eyes. That's when the movie redeemed itself in my eyes and got interesting.
Grade: B
The Cider House Rules
Seen: February 4, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Based on the novel. A young man raised in an orphanage as an obstetrician goes out into the world and revises his allegorical cider house rules.
Comments: This is an allegory that addresses the topic of abortion, and I loved it. It's subtle, and Toby Maguire beautifully underplays his character so that you can imagine all the thoughts and emotions that go through the character's mind. If you're completely dense, or if you have very strong opinions against abortion, you might not understand the movie or like it. It thought it was very well done. It's even more remarkable that the person who wrote the book also got to do the screenplay.
Grade: A+
Cradle Will Rock
Seen: January 30, TwilightVery Brief Synopsis: Based on a true story. Orson Welles and John Houseman put on a play that comments on the social and political environment of the time, while conservatives do what they can to cut the funding of the theatre and shut down the play.
Comments: There's so much going on in this film, a one-line synopsis could never do it justice. Tim Robbins directed this film, and like Shakespeare in Love there are fictional characters mixed in with actual people, so it helps to know the history involved. My suggestion? Know the background of the story, or bring a historian to the movie with you as your date, like I did. You'll understand the message better AND enjoy the movie. Oh, and if you're super-conservative and intolerant, and you think McCarthy of the House of Un-American Activities was a god, don't go to the movie. You'll hate it.
Grade: A
Girl, Interrupted
Seen: January 16, EveningVery Brief Synopsis: Based on a true story. Susanna Kayson commits herself to Claymore and, with the help of her friends, has to heal herself psychologically in order to get out.
Comments: I'm guessing that the trailers will appeal to teenaged girls, and guys will think that this is mainly a chick flick, but this is actually a serious drama. I like both Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie, so maybe I'm prejudiced... but I liked the film.
Grade: A
The Hurricane
Seen: January 7, EveningVery Brief Synopsis: This is the story of Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, prize fighter wrongfully convicted of murder.
Comments: I loved it. Denzel Washington was great, as usual, and I love Canadians. Go see it.
Grade: A+
Stuart Little
Seen: January 1, MatineeVery Brief Synopsis: Mouse gets adopted by the Little family and encounters a few problems.
Comments: I came for the animation, and apparently, that's all there was; it didn't even match what E. B. White originally wrote. The story was lacking; the characters were bland; and there was no real conflict. I think the kids in the theater liked it, but what do they know?
Grade: C
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Copyright © 1999-2000 by April Martinez - All rights reserved.
Any reuse, reproduction, or retransmission of this protected material is prohibited.
Any reuse, reproduction, or retransmission of this protected material is prohibited.
