Prince Valium (continued)

"Up the tower," you bark at the prince. You want to keep him in front of you where you can see him. He follows your order and precedes you up the stairwell.

It's a little awkward climbing the steps with the kid in tow, your gun trained on him in case of any funny business, but you somehow manage it, and the three of you go up and up and up the winding staircase. When you reach the top, you find yourselves in a dimly lit room with a spinning wheel in one corner and a bed in the other. On top of the bed lies a beautiful woman--the princess, Sleeping Beauty.

Success!

You grin. "Alright, you two, get by the spinning wheel. Both of you, now." You push the boy in the right direction to emphasize your order. The prince follows him, ever watching the gun in your hand, which you keep pointed at the boy, then at both of them.

Keeping one eye trained on them and the other on the princess, you approach the bed. The princess is the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, with thick, rich hair framing her delicate face, her cheeks tinted a light rose. A kiss breaks the spell, you remember being told, so you lean over and place your lips on hers.

Because you're still wary about the two in the corner, the touch is brief, and suddenly, the princess gasps and awakens, sitting up even as you step back and refocus your aim on the prince and his squire. Blinking, the princess looks around her. "Where...?" she begins to ask, but she sees you pointing your gun at Valiant and the kid.

She screams.

Startled at the unexpected sound, you jump and lose your holding on the gun. At the same time, Prince Valiant and the boy seem to explode from the corner in a fury of movement. Before you know it, you're flat on the ground, pinned by the prince's weight, your gun kicked across the room and underneath the bed by the squire.

"Hey!" you cry, struggling to retrieve the upper hand.

Too late. You hear the footsteps of the awakened castle residents, rushing up the tower to see why their princess has screamed. Even if you were able to knock Prince Valiant aside, you would be too far outnumbered in a matter of moments.

You decide to plead. "Let go of me, and I'll let you have the princess."

"That doesn't erase the crime," the prince tells you. "You will have to be tried for it."

Which means, of course, that you will probably lose your own kingdom--never mind about losing what you might have gained in marrying the princess. It's a terrifying thought; your father, the king, would kill you. Desperate, you struggle some more, adrenaline powering your attempts at hurling Valiant off you.

Smug at the fact that Valiant is actually having a hard time containing you, you struggle harder, until finally, the squire takes the little bench by the spinning wheel and knocks you on the head, out cold.

Ah, blissful unconsciousness.

But even in your dreams, your happy ending eludes you.