You're smart enough to stake the place out before pulling any heroics, so you're at the base of the tower, behind some shrubbery, watching the comings and goings of its occupants. Nothing's happening yet, but within moments, you see a hag approach the tower and stand below its single window.

"Rapunzel!" she shouts above, her voice an unbearable screech, like fingernails on chalkboard. "Rapunzel, let down your hair!"

Half a minute passes, then a long, thick braid of roped hair the color of amber is lowered from the window, spanning the entire length of the tower. You realize--oh, my goodness!--that it's Rapunzel's hair, the same one in the picture the old man gave to you. Your heart beats faster, and you wonder what it would be like to run your fingers through those amber waves.

Meanwhile, the witch has reached the top, and from your hiding place, you hear her scold and nag Rapunzel about various things--about what, you can't really tell. If Rapunzel has any response to the lecture, you don't hear it. You only watch the long braid of hair make its way up the tower again, to disappear inside the window.

An hour later, the braid makes its way back down again, and the witch climbs down it, to run whatever errands she needs to run is your guess. When she has disappeared, you make your way close to the base of the tower and use your gear to begin the climb in silence.

When you reach the top, your eyes lock with Rapunzel's. As in the picture, they are big and brown, but this time, they're wide with wonder and surprise, and maybe a little fear. Her soft lips are in the shape of an O, as though she were frozen in a gasp. She says nothing as you climb over the sill, but her eyes watch you and drink in the sight of your broad shoulders and muscled arms, and when her gaze falls on your narrow hips and muscled legs, you find yourself breathless with excitement. You realize that she's never seen a man before.

Untouched innocence, you remember the old man saying, and you count your lucky stars.

Drawing upon all your suave and seductive skills, you greet her with a low voice, smooth but husky with emotion.

"Uh,... hi." You curse yourself for not having anything more clever to say.

Unsure how to respond, Rapunzel licks her lower lip. Fascinated, you watch her pink tongue dart out, then disappear. "I'm not supposed to have anyone up here," she says finally. Her voice is clear, a singer's voice, and it's as sweet as honey.

You clear your throat. "I'll bet you're not supposed to do a lot of things," you venture, "but the rules that witch has imposed upon you go against all human and legal rights. You're being kept a prisoner here, really, and I'm here to save you."

"But how will I get down?" she asks. "The only way in and out is my hair."

You grin. "Rapunzel, sweetheart. Did I climb your hair?"

She shakes her head.

"And yet I'm here, aren't I?"

She nods.

"Well, that settles it, then," you say. "Trust me. I have enough gear to get us both down, and I can fashion a harness for you. If you just hang on really tightly to me, I can get us both down. Then we'll be married and live in a castle with doors, like civilized people."

Her eyes roam your body again, and her words are breathless. "I think I'd like that."

Your grin gets wider as you let your own eyes drink in the sight of her. "I know I'd like that," you reply in kind.

With a few words of advice to her, you prepare her for the climb down, and when the two of you have reached the bottom, you steal away into the forest and make your way back to your kingdom, where the two of you get married and live happily ever after. And just as the old man predicted, you have twins. Wisely, you don't name either of them Valium.