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August 27, 2003
Bad [Doggerel] From My Writing Past #10: You Can Call Me Doggerella (8/22/2003)
I'm the master poetaster;
Of disasters I'm the best,
For I make no alabaster,
Rather plaster... and a mess.
I make no sonnets in a bonnet
(Who would don it. Hell, not I),
And I doubt that I would flaunt it
If I did; I'd rather lie.
I compose no verbose longings.
I dream up no themes of love.
I propose my compost, yawning,
And I scheme for reams of guff.
Please don't hate me. Venerate me!
Mine's the best the worst can give.
All I make you ennervates me.
It's a test' to how I live.
So call me Doggerella,
Mistress of the trashy rhymes,
The ash in Cinderella,
And the blank between the lines.
I put meaning in the meaningless,
The dog in doggerel.
It's no visionary's vision,
Just a special kind of hell.
Yes... I'm the master poetaster;
Of disasters I'm the best,
For I make no alabaster,
Rather plaster... and a mess.
© August 22, 2003 April Martinez
Posted by April at 12:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 20, 2003
Freebie #2: Time Out Desktop Wallpapers
I've been busy at work with deadlines and sapped of all energy at home from the heat wave. With a new production schedule and no air conditioning, I've been forced to be less than bubbly through all of it. If this month dares, DARES to be to me what Groundhog Day was to Bill Murray, I will have to find a wormhole somewhere and jump right into it. That, or hurt somebody.
In the meantime, I've given myself a break from it all. A Calgon vacation, I like to call it. Or a temporary lobotomy. A sojourn to the time out chair.
I am not allowed to utter multisyllabic words, think clearly, or look smarter than a vegetable. I am forbidden from being productive, creative, or even contemplative. My sole purpose is to drool on my keyboard and render myself unconscious through sheer lack of will.
I think I'm doing a pretty good job of it, too. Well, except for that last bit, where I'm doing any thinking.
So, anyway, this is what I do when I'm unproductive... I make desktop wallpapers like those below. Feel free to use them. They're for you. Please excuse the large thumbnails and heavy download; they are all 1024 x 768 pixels in size.
Posted by April at 11:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 13, 2003
On Writing and Laughter (and Sex)
As I've mentioned in my About page, I've once or twice been compared to Dorothy Parker. At the time, I had no idea who Dorothy Parker was; I'd never read her work, and I'd never heard of her. So I looked her up and found little gems like:
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
and:
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
I thought to myself, wow, she's so witty and funny and cool! Her stories must be a riot to read. There's no way I write like that, but still, how awesome it is to be compared to her.
Well,... I recently bought a book of her short stories, so that I could see for myself what kind of writing she did and whether or not it was anything like mine, and I am just now getting into it. So far I've learned one thing. Her stories are depressing.
Depressing!
They feature lots of party- or bar-hopping alcoholics, acting like they're having the time of their life but are really inexplicably sad, scared and confused. Couples can't relate to each other, and people can't see past the outer surfaces.
It's so strange because all of her famous quotations are so funny. She must have been a funny girl.
But here's the heart of it: funny people usually have had rotten life experiences. Dorothy Parker had an unhappy childhood, and her later life was peppered with marriages, remarriages and divorces. From tragedy comes comedy.
Take my word for it. Most of the funniest people you've ever known are at least a little bit "messed up." Robin Williams had drug problems, and Paula Poundstone is an abuse survivor. Think of people you read online, the funniest ones; some of them have actually mentioned during unguarded moments some strange "off" things, and some of them you'd have to read between the lines, but it's there, that bit of tragedy or dysfunction. Tears of a clown.
It's ironic, really. The people that make you laugh and happy are in a way crying on the inside. The laughter is their medicine. It's how sensitive, creative people cope with the tragedies in life.
And when you think about it, it all makes sense. We only truly laugh at things with a sense of "wrong" in them. Slip on a banana peel. Laugh. Mistaken identity in a Shakespearean play. Laugh. Misunderstanding about who's on first and what's on second. Laugh. Malapropisms and puns, the wrong words at the wrong places. Laugh.
But back to Dorothy Parker...
I really had not expected to find such depressing, such poignantly sad stories. But what a mixture! She had such great quips and clever ways of saying things, and yet she could break your heart with one of her stories—not unlike the way Robin Williams juggles his comedic and dramatic acting abilities. It makes me wonder if the comparison between Parker and me is righteous. Whether or not it is, the comparison has made me feel very, very honored and humbled.
...and inspired.
I want to write again. Something longer this time. Something serious. Or maybe I should try for another comparison, maybe see if I can get someone to compare me to Anais Nin (whom I also haven't read).
Oh, wait a minute. Didn't she write erotica or something? Hmm... Time for me to read up on that genre, and time for me to learn how to write about sex.
Posted by April at 10:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 06, 2003
Work in Progress #2: Dancing Images
Notes: The dancing alien (scanned pencil sketch colored entirely in Photoshop 6.0) is holding a glow stick and is done in a style I don't usually use (as a test only); he is later going to a party deejayed by one of the nicest people online. The dancing girl is a Poser 3 figure rendered in Bryce 3D and touched up (and given hair) in Photoshop; I will add clothes to cover up her naked body when I find the time, but for now her body is a temple.
I've been itching to add book covers to my portfolio. If you know of a book publisher looking for some cover illustration, point the way and let me at 'em.
Posted by April at 08:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack