H.E. has decided that there is only one good thing about The Sopranos having ended: he no longer has to be snorked by Tony Soprano’s cell phone ringing, which matched H.E.’s cell phone ring tone exactly. Whenever Tony’s henchmen called, H.E. reached for his phone.

Not nice.

People might say that H.E. should simply have changed his ring tone, but it really isn’t all that easy. H.E. and I are two of a kind; we both can’t stand all those weird, unusual ring tones packed with way too much annoying personality or MIDI-like mood. He picks the least irritating ring readily available on his phone, as do I, and we’re perfectly happy doing so.

However, if the right ring tones were available, our phones would probably be singing a different tune. There is one ring tone that H.E. is dying to get for his phone, but we don’t know that it’s actually available. He found a sound file for it online, but he hasn’t been able to find a way to get it on the phone itself.

What does it sound like? According to H.E., it’s the sound of the President’s assistant’s phone ring in the movie Our Man Flint. Appropriate for his personality as he’s a news and political junkie who really knows his stuff.

For myself, H.E. and I discussed appropriate ring tones, melodies that would match my personality like no other. We came up with three.

One is that circus clown song that they usually play when the clowns are exiting by the hundreds out of a tiny car.

Another is the Looney Tunes theme song, right before Porky Pig declares, “That’s All, Folks!”

And yet another is the Wallace and Gromit theme song.

The people around me are probably very lucky that I don’t bother searching those three ring tones out and have stuck with one of the default rings on my mobile.

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