…but Happy Earth Day! I hope everyone worked on making their ecological footprint a lot smaller today. In my effort to save the world, I recycled my food and had leftover soup for lunch. From the experience, I was able to collect some tips and tricks to share with you all.

First lesson of the day: when making bisque, puree the stuff first, then heat it up, instead of the other way around—and when you puree, don’t overfill the container and do make sure to go slow at first; otherwise, holding the lid down won’t be enough, especially if the bisque is hot enough to burn the palm of your hand through a plastic top.

Second lesson of the day: screaming and swearing does you no good. Neither does leaping backwards to avoid an explosion of soup.

Third lesson of the day: do not wait too long before wiping up a big goopy mess in the kitchen; it’s much harder to wipe pureed soup off the walls, the cupboard doors, the refrigerator, the counter tops, the sink, the appliances, the cutting board, the paper towel rack, and the floor, specifically if you allow it all to dry and harden even just a little.

Fourth lesson of the day: immediately soak a soup-splattered sweatshirt, unless you want it to stain and forever look like leopard skin or orange Dalmation spots.

Hm.

Correction to the first lesson of the day: let someone else make the bisque so you can eat it while it’s still hot, instead of waiting until after the clean-up.

Share this post: