I’m going to the fair with Hercules
And we might take awhile
For the Scarborough Fair is far away,
One hundred and twenty miles.

There’s so much to do and so much to see,
A glass hill and an apple tree.
We must sew a shirt without one stitch
And clean all the stables with naught but a ditch.

We may not even get to the fair
Or come back after going there
Because, my friend, the whole trip’s … well …
Mission impossible as far’s I can tell.

Bonus points if you can guess the literary references sprinkled throughout this piece.

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