Craig Ferguson did a classy thing last night. For his opening monologue on The Late Late Show, he talked seriously about making fun of the vulnerable, particularly celebrities going through tough times, reaching the nadirs of their lives in the public eye. He apologized for his part and openly shared his own experiences, specifically with alcoholism—his rock bottom, his epiphany, his struggle to maintain his rehabilitation for 15 years. I didn’t think it was possible to like him any more than I already did, but he somehow managed the impossible.

My father was an alcoholic. I’ve hinted at it before, but I don’t think I’ve outright stated it here. Being Asian and in the Navy, he might have been fated to become one. And growing up, I never realized what he was. I was aware only of what he did because of it.

I remember waking to yelling and shouting—my parents fighting in the middle of the night. I can only guess that he had come home very late and very drunk. I don’t know for sure, since my grandparents tried to keep me and my sister from seeing the worst of it. There were crashes, plates flying and breaking, and maybe a cop’s voice. The next day, I saw a hole in the wall in the family room, another by the front door; the first was the size of my father’s foot, the second the size of the door stop.

He never went to rehab. He never gave up the drinking. I don’t think anyone really bothered to try any intervention, and even if anyone did, I don’t think it would have taken. After he and my mom divorced, he took his retirement money, moved to the Philippines, and bought himself a bar.

And me? How was I affected? My first serious boyfriend was an alcoholic, too.

There is no real point in my sharing this online … except to help anyone, if it helps anyone reading this. People experiencing alcoholism, whether directly or through someone in their family, always think they’re alone, and they’re not. It’s everywhere, and it usually helps them when they finally realize that and can get together with others like them, others who understand the very thing they’re experiencing.

It’s not just alcoholism, though. It’s whatever monkey plagues your back when you have an addictive or self-destructive personality. It takes courage to admit that you have a problem, or to admit that your loved one has a problem, and it’s a constant struggle not to slide back into or enable the problem.

So anytime I see anyone overcoming such obstacles and maintaining their struggle, I can’t help but admire them for it.

I bet Craig gets a ton of letters.

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