We had ours early this year because of unexpected events. Hope you’re all having a good day, whatever you do, but don’t go around wishing everyone a Happy VD. I don’t care what anyone says. There is nothing happy about a venereal disease.

Speaking of which, the two names that sound most like venereal diseases? Vicki Cox and Dick Cheney. I like the sound of Vicki Cox (I listen to Cox every now and then, and they don’t seem to say much), but Dick Cheney seems almost mortally wounding. If you have Dick Cheney, please don’t aim that thing at me!

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