SHE (rubbing her right eye): Good night.

HE: I didn’t think you were going to kiss me good night.

SHE (wincing): I wanted to brush my teeth first.

HE: What’s wrong? Why are you making a face?

SHE (reluctantly): I have toothpaste in my eye.

HE: You have toothpaste in your eye? How did you get toothpaste in your eye?

SHE: I was a little overenthusiastic brushing my teeth. The toothbrush kind of flew out of my mouth, and I accidentally poked my eye with it.

HE (laughing): You poked your eye?

SHE (grunting): Ngh.

(Pause)

SHE: It stings.

HE (trying not to laugh): Of course. Toothpaste has a lot of chemicals.

SHE (pouting): Well, it hurts.

HE: Aww.

(Pause)

HE (grinning): I’ll say this for you, though. Most people just brush their teeth. It’s really good of you to brush your eyes, too.

SHE (grunting and attempting to roll her eyes): Shut up. Just shut up.

HE (laughing): It’s always something.

Ngh. I have the cleanest eyes in all the world. Look, Ma, no cavities!

Share this post: