I have the worst timing. For Mother’s Day this year, I got the notion to send my mother flowers, especially considering how hard her year has been. I figured I’d do myself a favor and order early so that I’d be assured that the flowers would be in stock, and there’d be no problem filling my order. I checked and double-checked the delivery address and even set the delivery date a day early so that she’d have the flowers all day, from morning to evening, for the holiday.

Then, wouldn’t you know it, my mother decided to go out of town that weekend. When my flowers arrived, she was in North Carolina.

Perfect timing, huh?

Another case in point, before I had a camera, I’d find myself witnessing a beautiful moment—a special sunrise, a bird in flight, a fleeting expression—and I’d say to myself, “Boy, I wish I had a camera to capture this moment.” And now that I have one, I find that I never have it when I need it most. I’ll bring it, and nothing happens. I leave it at home, and a choir of angels and ufos will cross the sky. It’s just my luck and incredible timing. Like bringing an umbrella to prevent the rain.

Yesterday morning, as I walked to my car before work, a trio of ducks greeted me, taunting me with my lack of camera. I actually almost went back inside to get it, but with my purse, my lunch box, and my little briefcase-like bag full of stuff, I was already carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, so I opted against adding to it with a camera bag.

Then, of course, that’s when the falcon showed up. He flew down from the sky, directly in front of me, lit perfectly by the golden morning sun, the corpse of a shiny black raven clutched in its claws. The falcon landed not five feet from me, and he stared at me with baleful shining eyes, his prize held tightly, his feathers so sleek. And he posed! Half a minute he stood there, watching me, and if I had my camera with me, I could have clicked away and captured him in pixels.

Then he flew off, scaring the ducks, who also flew off into the trees, and I cursed by timing. Angels and ufos abound, and here I had no camera on me. I simply went from wishing I had a camera to wishing I had brought my camera.

But as I said, my timing sucks. It’s the worst in the world next to Ned Divine’s. But who knows, I may yet win the lottery while my ashes are scattered in the wind.

And of course, I’ll have written my name on the ticket.

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