I had to rearrange what little furniture I had so that my cat would stop sleeping on the 6’3″ bookshelf. Not that I have a problem with her sleeping there; I just have a problem with her falling off the damn thing.

She tends to have really violent cat dreams. I know because she’s slept on my chest quite a few times and twitched like crazy during the cat version of REM (what the hell is she dreaming, anyway?). Suffice it to say, she’s a danger to herself when she sleeps in high areas. She twitches her way to the edge and falls right over.

She has fallen off at least five times, and the cute little idiot keeps climbing back up the bookshelf to do it all over again.

During one of her falls, she bit herself in the mouth. I had no idea she even had an overbite, but there it was, her bottom fangs pierced her upper lip on both sides. The punctures are rather deep, but (thank God) they don’t bleed. Still, ever since she bit her lip, it sometimes gets stuck on her fangs, and if I don’t pull her lip back out, she looks like one of those inbred hillbilly types. I keep expecting her to meow in fluent Private Gomer Pyle, “Well, go-oh-olly!”

Wasn’t it bad enough that she can’t keep her tongue in her mouth? I swear, she’s starting to look as dumb as she is.

So I’ve moved the furniture around to keep her from going back up there and giving me heart attacks in the dead of the night when she crashes. There is not much that I can do about her bit lip, though, except maybe wait for it to heal.

Or I could just get her some orthodontic braces to cure that silly overbite.

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