In some cases, wanting is better than having.

I came to this conclusion after watching the latest episode of The Sopranos, where Carmela‘s secret crush, Furio—who, by the way, is in love with her too—quite suddenly disappears, leaving her totally frustrated, depressed and altogether bitchy.

I came to this conclusion because Carmela and Furio, as in love with each other as they are, have done absolutely nothing. Nothing. No kissy-kissy. No humping among the sheets. They just liked to look adoringly at each other and not even say what they felt. Before Furio left, Carmela would look forward to each day, to the moment he’d drop by to see her husband Tony, and she would be full of smiles, good will and generosity. Had she and Furio gotten together, though, it would have been one big mess; it would have been like Guinevere and Lancelot bringing Arthur and Camelot down.

This is why wanting is sometimes better than having. I mean this seriously. Wanting is like Christmas.

When I was a kid, the best part of the Christmas holiday was looking forward to it—making up a wish list, daydreaming about all the presents you’d get, and visualizing the unwrapping of the gifts. It wasn’t so much about the holiday as it was about the days leading up to it. Anticipation was the key.

Occasionally, the actual holiday exceeds expectations. Sometimes it meets them dead on. Or, more often than most people are willing to admit, the holiday fails to meet even the halfway mark.

And that’s what makes wanting so much better than having; it’s always perfect, always pure.

So… cherish these days. Prepare for the holidays. Decorate. Send cards. Play holiday music. Get yourself an advent calendar, and anticipate. Really and truly spend a lot of time enjoying the foreplay of the holiday.

Yes. I said foreplay.

Didn’t you know? That’s the best part of sex, too.

Share this post: