Back in the day, I wrote a lot about my mondegreens. Nothing much has changed about my tendency to mishear people; I still very much get what people say wrong at the most inopportune moments.

A couple weeks ago, while out to lunch with someone, he mentioned his friends’ addresses in relation to whatever it was that we were discussing. I looked blank for a moment and tried to make some sense of what he just said, so I asked, “French dresses?”

Today, on the way home from a hike, my friends and I were talking about Horsethief Canyon and the time a dog ran in the water.

“I forget whose dog that was,” I said. “Wait a minute, no, that was Kathy’s dog, wasn’t it?”

My friend who was driving nodded. “Zed.”

I gasped, really shocked. “Oh, no! Really? I’m so sorry to hear he’s dead. I can’t believe it!”

My two friends laughed their heads off. “No, the dog’s name was Zed!”

So, yes, it still happens. It doesn’t matter if the person speaking has an accent or has been speaking the local brand of English all their lives.

I just can’t shake this Emily Litella hearing disorder.

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