Even if my life depended on it, I couldn’t tell you what I played for my first piano recital; I have absolutely no clue. I do, however, remember what my friend Lynnel played. She and I took lessons with the same teacher, in the same two-hour block, so I’d listen as she practiced her piece.

Sometimes, when I got bored with waiting for my turn to play during the lesson, I’d get up and dance to the music she made. Since I was only 9 years old, the dance was nothing elaborate—just a bunch of hopping, skipping and looking ridiculous—but when my teacher caught me making a little fool of myself, a giant light bulb came on above her head, causing her to suggest that I dance at the recital.

And so it happened that I danced, as well as played, at my very first piano recital.

Such an event can only be attended by no less than half of one’s acquaintances, which meant that all of my family and practically everyone my mother knew was invited to come and bring gifts. Every student received gifts from their guests, but of all the students there, I got the most—which ought to tell you something about the fanaticism with which my mother approached the invitations.

Still, one of the other students was convinced that I got more presents because of my dancing at the recital—however lame an event it was. I tried to convince her that, no, it was because I had more guests at the recital and not because I danced to Lynnel’s uncertain playing, but the other student wouldn’t hear of it, and on top of that she seemed a little bit bitter about the whole thing.

Had she been older, she might have seen it my way, and had I been older, I might have given her more reason to see it my way. All I had to do was point out the facts and tell her, “Come on! Do you honestly believe people would shower me with gifts for dancing to ‘The ol’ gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be. The ol’ gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be, many long years ago!‘? I mean, really. How embarrassing!”

Old gray mare, indeed.

Hell, for that alone I should have gotten more presents than I did, and then I should have given up the piano for guitar!

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