There’s no escaping the fact that I’m old now. Many my age and older will disagree, but 10-20 years ago I thought people my age now were old and simply deluding themselves into thinking that they weren’t and that they were still relevant. So, obviously, people in their 20s and 30s are looking at me in that same way, like I’m an obsolescent model whose parts are no longer made by the factory.

Huh. Wait ’til THEY get to MY age.

Seriously, though, I’m old and getting older, but I don’t mind. I’m actually looking forward to AARP membership, senior discounts, and the ability to buy a Golden Adventure Pass just once for $10, good for the rest of my life, … instead of the regular Adventure Pass at $30 every year. I anticipate these benefits like they’re presents under the Christmas tree on December 1st.

There are other positive aspects to being old, like the fact that I have an attention span longer than a 6-second video and can tolerably enjoy books as well as movies. I get ALL the jokes that go over younger people’s heads, and I have all the patience and equanimity in the world.

The only thing I can’t stand about being old is how fast time flies now. The hours race for the hills, and we old geezers can barely keep up to maintain some sort of grasp. When you’re four, the holidays and weekends seem so far away, you think you will die of old age before the big day gets here. When you’re forty, the holidays and weekends come and go so fast, you’re pretty sure you’re already dead and life is just passing you by.

I mean, I can’t believe it’s November already. I planned to do so much before today, yet because October sped by so quickly, I didn’t get to do everything. In fact, I planned to do so much even just on this day alone, and when I saw that it was already past 10pm, I had to throw my hands up in the air and declare, “Whatever!”

I was productive, too, and busy. But apparently, being in my 40s now, I move like molasses … because I still didn’t get all that I wanted to get done. It’s as if being old makes a soul start to get a little bored with life, it’s so darn long, so the soul takes the remote control and presses fast forward. The remote on life is sketchy, though. You press the fast-forward button, and it kind of stays stuck there. It’ll only go faster if you try to fix it.

So that’s where I am at this point, wondering where October went and trying to play catch-up, hoping with all my might that November will slow down all its own and give me a break.

I’m not ready for Christmas just yet.

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