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Month: December 2003

Year’s End

Year’s End

My sister noticed that I’ve been back-dating my entries, and she guessed that it was due to my recent illness. She guessed correctly, by the way; since my bout with flu, I’ve been too lazy to post on time and too stubborn to give up my original plan to paint a Christmas tree in the calendar. Why? Because I wanted to end this year posting entry #300, and the tree allows for that perfectly. See, I’ve been rethinking this whole…

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Situation #120

Situation #120

So I finally did it the other day. I cut my hair. More than that—I shaved it off. All of it. I can’t say why I did it, and truly I must be insane. I was in tears after I shaved it off with the clippers I use to cut H.E.’s hair. I cried for hours in regret, and H.E. was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. He decided to shave his head, too. So now we’re both blindingly bald….

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Some of the Things I’ve Actually Done on a Date

Some of the Things I’ve Actually Done on a Date

A recent comment on this entry made me realize I never followed up with another one. So, here are some of the things I’ve actually done on a date: Go Christmas caroling Feed ducks, squirrels, and starving musicians asking for change at a Hollywood fast food joint(not all on one date, mind you, and that last is a true story—H.E. likes to buy lunch for down-on-their-luck artists) Window shop at antique shops, pet stores, and bookstores Dinner and a movie…

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I Am a Life Support System for a Vagina, Hear Me Utter a Full Loud Prolonged Sound

I Am a Life Support System for a Vagina, Hear Me Utter a Full Loud Prolonged Sound

I love amusing myself with dictionaries. Bonus points if you can guess the proverbs. 1. A shuttlecock in the hind foot of an ape is deserving of a couple in the advertising. 2. Soon to a place of sex relations and soon to increase in fervor or intensity, cause a husband robust, rich, and skilled in magic or divination. 3. Everything that’s superficially attractive or exciting isn’t a medal awarded as the top prize in a competition. 4. Prepare a…

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I’ve Never Stayed at the Paris Hilton

I’ve Never Stayed at the Paris Hilton

I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve actually seen part of that Paris Hilton tape. H.E. and I watched a little bit of it on his computer when curiousity finally got the best of us after he had received his 100th Paris spam. There was nothing spectacular about it except that one of the two people featured on the tape was a famous-for-being-rich-and-famous trust fund blond silver-spoon-fed baby, whose eyes glowed demon red in the low light of the video. She…

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