This is the view outside my window.Fauxto taken by my alien friend, using my Cantoff PS6 digital crapera.Free wallpaper versions for your desktop:800 x 600 | 1024 x 768 | 1280 x 960 My own birthmonth and namesake has been rather hard on me, giving credence to that famous line: April is the cruelest month. Where’s the love, people?! First of all, the company for which I work is experiencing a massive brain drain. In the span of just one…
I was a teenager the first time I ever saw that cliché involving two women who discover they’ve worn the same dress to a party. The first woman would enter full of confidence, a sashay in her step as she showed off her new dress, only to stop dead in her tracks when she discovered that another woman in the room was wearing the exact same thing. Egad, how embarrassing! The first time I saw that, I didn’t get it….
I admit it. I kept a sketch diary that chronicled my lame adventures during my high school years. They were nothing special, just quickly doodled comic strips full of inside you-had-to-be-there jokes. For instance, look at the third page—that bubble with the cotton swab after Annalisa called me a dweeb? Yes, I know that doesn’t make sense, but I honestly thought it was funny back then; every time I heard the word “dweeb,” I would think of Q-tip cotton swabs,…
Why haven’t I updated or responded to your e-mail? Well, I’ve blown it. Too often. My nose is being such a drip and wants to run off with another girl. I’ve smothered it so much that he’s feeling a bit chapped in the hide. “You’re only running to spite me,” I said, simply unable to imagine my dear sweet nose absent from my familiar face. “You know you love it when I blow you.” He grew an angry red. “No,…
When they grocery shop, he picks out and weighs the vegetables while she gets the plastic bags and ties. They tease each other, but only they get their jokes. He (picking up a tomato and gesturing for a plastic bag): Bag! She (handing him a plastic bag and shivering): Asshole! He: Are you cold? What a pussy! She: Of course I am. What a dick! Later, they get back, and he starts making clam chowder. He: Want me to make…