I used to want to be a writer. As a result, I’d eavesdrop on conversations and write them down as dialogue research and writing practice. My best subject was always my sister, whose conversations were always off the wall. Today, I found one of my notebooks from over ten years ago, with notes I took after overhearing my sister’s phone conversation with one of her friends. Would you like a peek? Here it is: “Name?” “Vergara.” “What’s that?” “Vergara.” “Can…
I once had a kitten named Frisco—named after John Stamos’s character in the soap opera General Hospital. The brightest, friendliest cat I ever knew, Frisco was black and white and cute as can be. Cat leukemia claimed him before his first birthday, so I never really had a chance to deal with hairballs and incontinence from him. Like Holden Caulfield’s younger brother, Frisco remains youthful, precocious, and all-around perfect in my mind. Enter Cat, a black cat who will remain…
Our web programmer says the darndest things sometimes. Like some of the guys upstairs, he’ll get into a junior high mode and make farting sounds with his mouth. Today, he did that, and I just sat there, wrinkled my nose and said, “Ew, ew, ew.” Then, absolutely straight-faced, he told me, “It’s okay. Every time a person farts, a little bean goes up to heaven.” I can’t even imagine the comical look that must have been on my face. I…
I don’t typically do “memes,” but I couldn’t resist this one; the results were so off-the-wall and bountiful, I just had to participate. So… without further ado, here’s what I found when I typed “April is” -month on Google: “The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.” – Mark Twain April is almost here. April is now on line and accessible globally. April is chosen. April is my religion….
SHE (rubbing her right eye): Good night. HE: I didn’t think you were going to kiss me good night. SHE (wincing): I wanted to brush my teeth first. HE: What’s wrong? Why are you making a face? SHE (reluctantly): I have toothpaste in my eye. HE: You have toothpaste in your eye? How did you get toothpaste in your eye? SHE: I was a little overenthusiastic brushing my teeth. The toothbrush kind of flew out of my mouth, and I…