I used to want to be a writer. As a result, I’d eavesdrop on conversations and write them down as dialogue research and writing practice. My best subject was always my sister, whose conversations were always off the wall. Today, I found one of my notebooks from over ten years ago, with notes I took after overhearing my sister’s phone conversation with one of her friends. Would you like a peek? Here it is: “Name?” “Vergara.” “What’s that?” “Vergara.” “Can…
He loves aviation, so after seeing a movie he suggested we hang out and take a lazy walk at the local airport. We never expected anything out of the ordinary, but when we arrived at the parking lot there were serendipitous signs reading B-17 and B-24. Half the time, I can’t tell between a bird and a plane, so those words meant nothing to me, but it meant a great deal to him. His excitement puzzled me. It turned out…
He’s Irish, so I thought I’d ask him. “Do you know the name of this song?” I began humming a lilting Irish tune, the one that’s been playing in my head for weeks because I’d heard it on the radio again. It was a song I was sure I had in my CD collection somewhere, only I couldn’t remember where, and I was too lazy to get the CDs out and check for myself. “Hmm,” he said. “‘Londonderry Air’.” I…
Food. Our conversations revolve around it, though we sometimes veer severely off course with the mere quirk of words. He recently served fish sticks of the Van de Kamp variety when he reminisced about serving them to a young girl; she loved them so much she asked him to prepare “fish dicks” again the next day. Little girls — we say they’re nice and made up of spice, but who knew their minds could dream up of such things? It’s…
Okay, so I have a problem. Some brain-dead politician was singing John Ashcroft’s praises the other day, and he used a word that jumped out at me and made me do a double-take. I cried out: “Did he just say ‘stiff-assed’?!” I was shocked — shocked, I tell you. I’m against John Ashcroft’s nomination, but I didn’t expect such language coming from someone who supported him. I was given a smile. “Stiff-assed? That’s a good word for Ashcroft.” “Well, sure,…