That quirk I have, the one that has me mishearing everything so that I hear “stiff-assed” instead of “steadfast” or “London Derriere” instead of “Londonderry Air”—it’s contagious. The other day, as I was preparing veggies for the yaki soba I planned on cooking for lunch, I was startled by loud and ominous sounds from above. I’m on the top floor, so sounds from above kind of freak me out, but they sounded like heavy footfalls on the roof. Santa ……
After lunch at Ebisu, a neighborhood Japanese noodle restaurant, H.E. and I walked over to Ebisu, the Japanese grocery store. We bought a few things for dinner later, namely packaged sushi and sashimi, pickled daikon, fish cake, and the like. At the register, I heard the cashier do something I thought only Albertson’s cashiers do, where they’re always pointing out their specially featured item at the end of the counter—I thought I heard the Japanese cashier doing some upselling, asking…
H.E. and I had never seen the last Star Trek movie, Nemesis, so when it played on TV today, we stuck around to watch part of it. Anyway, Jean-Luc Picard was gearing up for a battle and said something that confused me. “The crew has responded with the dedication I’ve come to expect from them… And like a thousand other commanders on a thousand other battlefields, I wait for the [blank].” The blank, of course, was something I couldn’t quite…
I can’t recall what show I was watching—I really wasn’t paying attention. Some conservative pundit was ranting about something that wouldn’t even bother most people. Terms like morality, right, and wrong, were bandied about, and the people about whom he was speaking sounded like the cretin of the earth, the way he described them. Then I thought to myself, oh my God, what does he care, really? Why should it matter what homeless people do? They’re people, just like he…
Come ride a train of thought with me for a while; this journey has a serendipitous end. I don’t check my referral logs as often as I think most webbers do; the only statistic that truly interests me is the number one search referral for any given month. Last month it was cat shit, and this month it’s excuse me while I kiss this guy. Up until recently, it was hardly even on the radar, but as I write this,…