Back in the day, I wrote a lot about my mondegreens. Nothing much has changed about my tendency to mishear people; I still very much get what people say wrong at the most inopportune moments. A couple weeks ago, while out to lunch with someone, he mentioned his friends’ addresses in relation to whatever it was that we were discussing. I looked blank for a moment and tried to make some sense of what he just said, so I asked,…
H.E. likes to watch TV late at night as I drift off to sleep, and sometimes I do that thing I do where words go in one ear and go out the other a completely changed creature. This time, H.E. is watching Robert Klein’s show on HBO, and Robert Klein’s doing that thing he does where he jokes and sings about politics and current events; he’s just an all-around funny and talented guy. I’m only half listening, of course, because…
Or Happy Testicle Day … whichever you celebrate. It’s been a while since I’ve added to the Mondegreens category, but how apropos on this greenest of days. Last night, H.E. and I had dinner with some of his friends — two couples; I guess that made it a triple date, or a ménage times two. It was pretty good conversation all around. H.E.’s friends are rather brilliant and funny, and I managed to keep up for most of it. There…
In a conversational tone, H.E. shares a statistic with me. “Can you believe this? 25% of teenage girls today have VD.” My audio channel spools up a little late. “ED?” “ED, right. Erectile dysfunction. Teenage girls are having trouble getting their dicks hard. VD. I said VD. You know, sexually transmitted diseases?” “Oh, yeah.” Share this post:
So we’re watching the military channel. H.E. is drinking a V-8, and I’m crocheting a cap, while a promo for a new documentary on weapons plays. I’m in the middle of a stitch, so it’s no wonder I’m easily confused. “Did they just say ‘stronger body odor‘?” I ask. H.E. immediately stops drinking and stills for a moment as he works to keep the fluid in his mouth, and seconds before he finally responds, I realize what it was I…