The so-called "first" version of my site (a p r i l) began in September of 1999, but I was building web sites long before then -- under an alias known to no one I knew In Real Life. My name was published nowhere on the anonymous site -- not in the text nor on the graphics, not even in the code. I kept my online life strictly separate from my real life, and I tried never to let one mingle with the other.

There was a certain freedom to that kind of lifestyle. I said and did what I wanted under my alias, and I never had to worry about what I posted on my web page. It was like being at a masquerade party on Halloween, with no one knowing who you were even as you danced on the table with a lampshade on your head. If you did or said anything about which you would normally be embarrassed or ashamed, no one In Real Life knew.

Not that I ever did anything shameful or embarrassing under my alias, mind you. I was merely more free with my humor and opinions on subjects most people don't normally bring up at the dinner table.

The downside of having that secret freedom, however, was that it was... *-ahem-* ...secret. I did some of my best work on that site, but because it wasn't supposed to exist, I couldn't add it to my portfolio.

Eventually, I realized that if I were to benefit from any display of web skills, I was going to have to make it truly "public" -- no aliases, no anonymously created content or graphics, no covert publishing of ideas on the net. A few other "netizens" seemed to have no qualms about revealing their names -- so why should I have any? In fact, why was I being so secretive in the first place?

I couldn't come up with a good answer.

That's when a p r i l began. At first, I was afraid that I'd reveal too much or feel too stifled to reveal anything at all, and I think I was right on both counts -- depending on the way you look at things.

It's a trade-off. With anonymity comes freedom, but no credit; yet by taking credit and being more open, I'm less free to say or do whatever I want. Yet on the whole, I'm glad I've gone public; it's gotten me the job I have now, and I no longer feel that I have anything to hide.